its summer.

right now i've finished my suitcases. i'm sitting outside on the porch drinking coffee, wondering why i dont get to spend my summer here. its like I spent a year creating this life for myself and then I cant enjoy it when it finally starts getting perfect. all i have to do is wait for ben and then im on my way to paris. its bizarre.

Posting-every-day mode ACTIVATE!

So, today is my last day in Cholet. Tomorrow I'll leave around 11 AM to go spend the day in Paris with Max and my honey.

It's hard to leave like this. There are so many goodbyes I didnt get to say. I just hope everything works out so I can come back. Today I'll be spending my day the best way possible; now i'll be productive and get my packing done hopefully. Then I'll get to spend a couple hours with my Ben before going to a dinner with all of my families(: Well, half of my families. Karim's family wasnt invited for practical reasons and the Gazeaus were busy. So, it will be me, the Barbillers, the Reveillers, Meryl, her mom and Ben.

Sounds like a perfect end to a lovely year(:

The issue with blogging

is that I swap between it and my diary. I can't do both. Its one or the other and then one gets left out. Oh, the problems of a blogger. Life is hard.

So, I am panicking. It still hasnt quite hit that I'm leaving and thats sorta a good thing, but getting home is seriously stressing me out here. Now ill be going to thomas's house to say our last teary eyed goodbyes, and then tomorrow will be my last full day with Ben before the day that I'm leaving. Seriously though, the organization for Paris sucks. I was literally arguing with my host parents, crying, for three hours crying because
a) They dont know how to listen to my real parents.
b) They dont know how to see reason.
c) They dont get that im a big girl, and that i've travelled more than they have.
d) They apparently dont trust my boyfriend. Ugh. I dont get why either, cause they said they loved him.

At least we have a plan that makes me happy now, though I'll have to pay for two seperate hotel rooms in Paris. Meh.

Last party with my friends from school):

Last night was so sad, Thomas and I found ourselves crying at times D': It was my best friends (thomas) birthday party, I had to say my official goodbyes to everyone from school. At least the hard part is over, but its soo sad, we've already started making plans for me to come back (:

Now for getting to Paris, I've officially hit panic mode. I cant stay at Redhas house because we're too many people. Its me, Ben and Max and I would be the only one that could stay. Id say that Ben and Max could take me up there and I'd stay by myself but theres no one who can drive me to the airport in the morning. Ugh. So either I need to find a place to stay by myself where I can get someone to drive me WITHOUT TAKING A TAXI or I have to find a place for all three of us to stay.. -.-"

This is hard.

Woah goodness!

I have 1002 page views? What is this nonsense?! I guess i've decided I need to start blogging again cause I no longer need to avoid it by principal. By that I mean, now that my parents don't care if I blog, I will. I cant do it if they want me to, otherwise I would be disgracing the very foundation of teenager theory.

I'll be taking you guys with my in my return trip back home to sunny, warm (*cough*cough*) Seattle, Washington. Hell, I might even take you guys with me when I'm doing two years of school in one and working full time. That will be an adventure. If you want me to talk about something interesting turn to page 37.

So far my departure from France has been coming much too quickly. It still hasn't really hit me that I'm leaving in 4 days, and for those of you that know me, you know thats a bad sign cause I only get stuff done when I'm panicking. I havn't really been doing much and yet I'm still super stressed about my return home. Getting to Paris is becoming a massive inconvenience and saying good-bye to everyone is a serious pain in the butt when I dont have a car, I either have to beg for rides or walk everywhere. Cholet isnt a big city, but your legs start to hurt after trying to see literally every person you've met in a whole year. I'll be going to Thomas's birthday party tonight, and I'll be able to get about fifteen good-byes done at the same time. WOOPWOOP! Then Benjamin needs to get his butt back to Cholet to come spend time with his chérie (:

Wow, this is gonna be a long post. Let's update you all on my life since I havnt blogged since November! I'll try to be picky and short.

Hellfest was June 15, 16, and 17th in Clisson. Holy nonsense was it amazing, there are pictures up on my facebook if anyones interested. Most notably I got my lip pierced again, same place as before. But it was a seriously amazing experience. For those of you who arent farmiliar, Hellfest is the biggest metal festival in Europe. It's a three day festival that has taken place once every year for 8 years. I was lucky enough to go with my first host dad after getting tickets for Christmas. I crowd surfed, made some friends and got to experience the ambiance of such a well organized festival. Ill tell you guys right now, we dont have anything like that in the states. It was mind blowing. Especially the camping site, it reminds me of the beginning of the fourth harry potter, when they show the camp site before the quittich world cup. There were about 100,000 people in tents all over the place. There were flags flying everywhere for all the different countries, and it was pretty much a massive party day and night. We could hear their music from a kilometer away. There was even a guy from Cholet who gave free hair cuts, but he put you into a wooden brace and cut your hair however he wanted(: It was amazing. I crowd surved twice, got kicked out of an audience and got bruises all over from moshing. If it doesnt hurt, its not metal enough. If you're interested, look up Hellfest on google for the set list. I promise you know at least ten of the bands that played and you'll be jealous(;

Well, as far as my life plans go upon my return, they have changed yet again. I dislike that I change my plans so often. It's completely normal cause i'm so young, but it makes me nervous that every time I change plans, I do it with a certain sureness, completely convinced that I'm doing that before I change my plans again. Now I'm trying to come back to France for last years of college, though there are a couple of kinks in the logical aspects. We'll see where it takes us.

Anywho, I guess I'll stop there for now, I'll keep updating when I think of stuff to write.

Blessed be, I hope you have a lovely day(:

Long post potato: